No Shame in my Mom Game
I’m going to get real here. My mind finally feels clear and I’ve come out of the fog from a battle I am sure others have had. So I’m going to get deep into something I don’t hear much about in this world of moms. So read on and maybe you too, have experienced what I have. No matter what roles you play in your life there are times that we are, as humans, emotionally unwell. I guarantee St. Teresa had her hardships and that she too had to get her groove back. Ok, I actually know she did because well… I googled it and I know all about her now. BUT! In every hard season of her taking care of the blind, aged, disabled, and the leper colony she prospered. For goodness sake, she was honored with the Nobel Peace Prize because of all the hardships she overcame. I can guarantee through those times she also focused on self-care to keep that consistent growth and motivation to help others. In my last blog, I wrote about some simple ways to check in with our bodies, how to listen, and make sure we are doing things for ourselves. (If you missed my last blog go check it out!) I have noticed not just with personal experience but others in my life that in times of feeling emotionally unwell, because of some type of hardship or event, we just stop doing the things that serve us and nourish our souls. Like hitting the pause button because it’s just all too hard in the moment. Why is that? I have thought about this a lot lately coming out of my fog and here is what I have come up with… We need time to heal and to grow. It’s a season of our life where we must go away, hibernate in our cave, and collect ourselves to come back out to something even bigger and more beautiful than we left it. All for self-growth. But why stop doing the things we love like painting, writing, working out, using oils, dancing, hopscotch, singing, seeing the people we care about, playing bingo or whatever brings you joy and opens you to the world each day? When in reality we truly NEED those things more than ever to support us in rekindling our growth. It does not have to be all or nothing. We just need to turn the volume down so we can cope with our emotional state, and pull ourselves back out of the fog to find out how to reach the things that bring us joy. Where there is joy… there is love. When you love yourself, your soul prospers and your heart opens to new possibilities no matter what you just faced and initially caused all the turmoil. I recently endured a dark season and retreated to my cave. I stopped doing everything I loved. I was depressed, irritated, and just plain unhappy. I forced a smile and had to even make myself have contact with the world. At times everything felt hopeless. I stopped finding joy. So I stopped loving myself. One major thing happened; I peed on a stick and realized I was pregnant, again. I had just signed up to start my training as a Holistic Wellness Coach, finally was feeling “myself” after my last pregnancy, getting my groove back, and doing allllll the things, and this extreme life-altering event happened. I chose to put my life on pause. I chose to take the time to deal with my emotions. We hear a lot about Postpartum depression and baby blues but what about during pregnancy? Maybe it's not talked about because in our society we have been conditioned to think we must be elated or else we feel shame. I can tell you I felt shameful that I didn’t jump for joy or run to tell my friends and family. That shame served me no purpose but anger towards my life. So I am here to tell any mama’s that need to hear this, that it is OK to not be excited about that positive pee stick! Give yourself time to work through your emotions. It’s something we have to let ourselves do. Then, you must stand back up and take the reins again. This process is vital to our being, so you can be open to embracing the boundless joy to come in the future. Just keep the volume down. Instead of yoga for an hour start with 10 minutes. Instead of a painting project with a giant canvas do an 8 x 10.
In your time of hardship release your inner St. Theresa. As Mama’s we can identify with always taking care of others... even in the hardest of circumstances! We continue to take care of ourselves so we can care for those we love most. You CAN and WILL get back YOUR groove girl. Whatever you do, don’t let shame seep into your pores and discourage you from reaching for joy.
Are you in a season of struggle? Let's connect--tell me about it in the comments below! #noshameinmymomgame With Gratitude, Faye Khoury